Why Procrastination is a Form of Self Hard, and How to Fix It:
Whether as a student, an employee, or a project manager... you've probably experienced a hair-pulling cram session where(after perhaps WEEKS of half-effort work sessions, distracted and avoidant...) you managed to submit a project by the skin on your teeth.
After finally getting it done, you vow to NEVER spend another second on your phone while you're working.... only to get back to your desk and automatically reach for your phone.
This is the seemingly impossible challenge: How do I STOP mindlessly scrolling, when I know it's destroying my ability to focus and even more generally... my ability to just be ok with myself in the present?
The reason might go deeper than you think. In her podcast, The Mel Robbins Show, Mel says "The fundamental flaw in human design is that when something happens to you as a kid, you don’t have the life experience, or support system to be able to process what’s happening.
You don’t say, “what’s wrong with these bullies, or what’s wrong with my dad, or what’s wrong with this situation”. You say “what’s wrong with me”. We aim it back at ourselves.
And then this starts to build as a thinking pattern, that there must be something wrong with me. You aim everything that’s happening out there, back at yourself."
This habit we build as kids, essentially blaming ourselves for circumstances entirely beyond our control, sticks with us until adult-hood.
Procrastination habits offer a beautiful escape. The inescapable enemy(ourselves) is no longer a threat. For now, they're distracted and not contributing to the pain... or so we think.
Fundamentally, the challenge is that YOUR OWN MIND is the threat... and yet with each cram-session and missed opportunity, the band-aid of momentary distraction only contributes to your sense of self resentment. So what do we have to do?
Forgive your inner child. Forgive your current behaviors. Realize these are the remnants of an old worldview….. And now it’s time to change.
The secret is mindfulness. It's awareness. It's literally just knowing objectively: what's going on?
The reality is that you're probably not as "broken" as you either consciously or unconsciously think you are. The whole point of my content is to get you to realize that your thoughts, feelings, and actions absolutely have to align in order for you to achieve the success you want.
This post isn’t going to be at all helpful for you if you’re still in willful self-deprecation mode. If that’s you, you probably wouldn’t be reading this post anyway! So since it’s probably not you…. EXCELLENT JOB!
We’re going to show you how to get even better.
With mindfulness, we’re allowing ourselves to experience reality objectively. Our narrative takes a back seat for a second as the world spins around us…. While we’re seeing it seemingly for the first time.
When the voice does rear it’s ugly head and try to tell you you’re a giant piece of s**t, you’re going to be significantly less likely to believe it. Here, with your heart beating and all of your basic needs met…. The voice starts to get exposed as a fraud.
Follow this process more consistently and eventually you won’t hear from that voice much at all.
What’s better is that you’ll also find yourself almost effortlessly doing the things that you really WANT to do. Writing that paper, working on that proposal, wrapping up that project…..
Internal conflict leads to a desire for escape. Once that internal conflict has been acknowledged and resolved, you’ll find yourself automatically taking the next steps to leveling up.
Give it a try ;)